Bouquet De Nerfs

Bouquet De Nerfs ( Sleeping beauty has called off negotiations. )

steveholtvstheuniverse:

variablejabberwocky:

the-real-seebs:

glamdamnit:

My sister asked if the events of “The Labyrinth” are meant to be Sarah dreaming, or are they real? Although my primary reaction was that she shouldn’t put that much thought into any children’s movie (or any instance of David Bowie in tight pants), I’d like to take this opportunity to put so much thought into this children’s movie, that it’ll blow your mind.
So why is David Bowie kidnapping a child from an underage Jennifer Connelley?
In a time long long ago a sorcerer named Jareth fell in love with a girl named Sarah. Sarah’s father and step-mother would not let her marry Jareth because they wanted her to keep her, as a servant, to care for their other child. In a fit of rage Jareth kidnapped this other child and spirited it away to the fairy world. In this new world Jareth built a palace for his Sarah. He turned the spoiled child into a goblin, and kept it to be a servant.
Many stories of the fairy world tell us that time moves differently there than in our world (Rip Van Winkle for one). In the time it took for Jareth to build his kingdom, which he may have thought was little more than a few years, Sarah grew old and died.
Overcome by grief and addled by a lifetime spent in a strange world filled with monsters, Jareth goes mad. He refuses to believe that he has lost his love. He searches the mortal world from his castle, looking for her.
Sarah is Hebrew name. So, it is common, and has been in use for thousands and thousands of years. It does not take long (for him) to find a dark haired girl named Sarah, who has a younger sibling, and who feels that she is treated unfairly by her step mother. In a fit of rage he kidnaps this other child and spirits it away to the fairy world. Perhaps this new Sarah dies in the quest to find the child, perhaps she wins her sibling back and flees.
Jareth searches the mortal world from his from his castle, looking for her.  It does not take long to find a dark haired girl named Sarah…
This is how Jareth becomes the goblin king. Every goblin in the goblin city is a child Jareth has stolen, who was not recovered by a Sarah. (he told the current Sarah that Toby would become a goblin if she did not find him in time)
This is why he builds the maze. The magic bog, the junk yard of useless treasures, all tricks to slow Sarah down. Because if he can only have his Sarah for the time it takes for her to regain the stolen child, he will make it take as long as possible, keep her as long as possible.
This is why there exists in our world a book containing the story. Because it has happened before. So many times. At some point some lucky Sarah must have returned to our world to tell the story.
This is why when the most recent Sarah first meets Hoggle at the start of the labyrinth, and introduces herself; “I’m Sarah”, Hoggle responds “That’s what I figured.”
Because of course she’s Sarah.
They were all Sarah.

That makes entirely too much sense.
BRB crossing “Sarah” off the list of likely names for kids.

Creeeeeeeepy
also, awesome meta!

Now that is a damn good fairy tale.

Reblogged from drerra

steveholtvstheuniverse:

variablejabberwocky:

the-real-seebs:

glamdamnit:

My sister asked if the events of “The Labyrinth” are meant to be Sarah dreaming, or are they real? Although my primary reaction was that she shouldn’t put that much thought into any children’s movie (or any instance of David Bowie in tight pants), I’d like to take this opportunity to put so much thought into this children’s movie, that it’ll blow your mind.

So why is David Bowie kidnapping a child from an underage Jennifer Connelley?

In a time long long ago a sorcerer named Jareth fell in love with a girl named Sarah. Sarah’s father and step-mother would not let her marry Jareth because they wanted her to keep her, as a servant, to care for their other child. In a fit of rage Jareth kidnapped this other child and spirited it away to the fairy world. In this new world Jareth built a palace for his Sarah. He turned the spoiled child into a goblin, and kept it to be a servant.

Many stories of the fairy world tell us that time moves differently there than in our world (Rip Van Winkle for one). In the time it took for Jareth to build his kingdom, which he may have thought was little more than a few years, Sarah grew old and died.

Overcome by grief and addled by a lifetime spent in a strange world filled with monsters, Jareth goes mad. He refuses to believe that he has lost his love. He searches the mortal world from his castle, looking for her.

Sarah is Hebrew name. So, it is common, and has been in use for thousands and thousands of years. It does not take long (for him) to find a dark haired girl named Sarah, who has a younger sibling, and who feels that she is treated unfairly by her step mother. In a fit of rage he kidnaps this other child and spirits it away to the fairy world. Perhaps this new Sarah dies in the quest to find the child, perhaps she wins her sibling back and flees.

Jareth searches the mortal world from his from his castle, looking for her.  It does not take long to find a dark haired girl named Sarah…

This is how Jareth becomes the goblin king. Every goblin in the goblin city is a child Jareth has stolen, who was not recovered by a Sarah. (he told the current Sarah that Toby would become a goblin if she did not find him in time)

This is why he builds the maze. The magic bog, the junk yard of useless treasures, all tricks to slow Sarah down. Because if he can only have his Sarah for the time it takes for her to regain the stolen child, he will make it take as long as possible, keep her as long as possible.

This is why there exists in our world a book containing the story. Because it has happened before. So many times. At some point some lucky Sarah must have returned to our world to tell the story.

This is why when the most recent Sarah first meets Hoggle at the start of the labyrinth, and introduces herself; “I’m Sarah”, Hoggle responds “That’s what I figured.”

Because of course she’s Sarah.

They were all Sarah.

That makes entirely too much sense.

BRB crossing “Sarah” off the list of likely names for kids.

Creeeeeeeepy

also, awesome meta!

Now that is a damn good fairy tale.

"<3 <3 <3"

Asked by Anonymous

Whoever you are, <3 back to you. 

sleeptightwithaknife:

Today I had to sleep after my shower. That really sucked.

Reblogged from bodyfallingapart

sleeptightwithaknife:

Today I had to sleep after my shower. That really sucked.

SUBNORMALITY!

Reblogged from bheidh

bheidh:

skelo-ghost:

I didn’t expect this to be as painfully accurate as it was, especially with how the narration frames the story at first. Wow

this absolutely punched me in the gut with disability feelings & i am crying p hard now, but it is well worth the time it takes to read the entire piece

permalink here

My god this made me cry like a baby, and it’s so good. 

Reblogged from poigneedeporte

yesmissmori:

THINX Underwear:

OH SHIT YOU GUYS THIS COMPANY IS MAKING UNDERWEAR THAT IS STAIN RESISTANT, ANTIMICROBIAL, AND WILL ABSORB UP TO 6 TEASPOONS OF LIQUID BUT STILL LOOKS FUCKING SEXY

AND DID I MENTION THIS PART:

For every pair of THINX you buy, you help one girl in the developing world stay in school by providing her with seven washable, reusable cloth pads.

AND WHY IS THAT SUCH A BIG DEAL? HERE’S WHY:

After doing some research, Agrawal says she found that more than 100 million girls in the developing world were missing a week of school because of their periods, and using things such as leaves, old rags, or plastic bags in the place of sanitary pads.

THE SIZES RUN FROM XS TO XXL AND THE PRICES ARE NOT INSANE, THEY’RE OBVIOUSLY HIGHER THAN THOSE 5 FOR $10 SALES AT TARGET BUT YOU WON’T HAVE TO THROW THEM OUT BECAUSE YOU MISCALCULATED YOUR FLOW AND BLED ALL OVER THEM BEFORE YOU COULD GET TO A BATHROOM

I’M SORRY FOR SHOUTING I’M JUST REALLY EXCITED ABOUT THIS

LIKE HOLY FUCKBASKET IT’S ABOUT DAMN TIME

Reblogged from coffeecatscake

ibrake4chihuahuas:

I want a refund.. I got a shitty deal with this life thing… I want one of those cool bodies, you know the ones that don’t hurt every single time you move…

Reblogged from carnouflagee

ugly:

hungarian:

if u rub your boobs together it will start a fire

whose down to try?

No…but it did warm them up a lot. 

WHERE THE HELL DID MUNCH GO FOR OVER A MONTH???

Okay so..I can’t even remember wtf was going on the last time I actually updated about my life…but here’s a really short version. I’ve been meaning to type this out for like a week.

1. My arms decided to FALL OFF. No really. They are being held on with duct tape and spackle right now. I don’t know what the hell is going on in there, and even though I managed to get back on insurance, it is the same shitty insurance I had before. Which means it covers NOTHING. So despite the blinding blinging pain in my arms, I can’t afford to find out what’s even causing it. My shoulders are cracking and popping like they’re trying to twerk. My muscles are burning. My hands are stiff and achy.

And MRI’s are expensive, yo.

2. Spiralling depression is fun for the whole family. No, it’s not. But it’s there and it’s like fucking treacle all over me. Ever tried to rub tree sap off your fingers? It’s like that. I am covered in it. I withdraw when I get depressed because in my head, it’s better that I am alone. Nobody has to see it or deal with it but me…and thus I am less of a burden.

3. The ‘Rents decided to renovate my house for no reason at all. Okay this sounds like a good thing, right? Your house is falling apart…it needs repairs…your landlord can’t do it…so…FUCK NO IT’S NOT A GOOD THING, GOD FUCKING DAMN IT IT’S SO AWFUL. I HATE IT SO FUCKING MUCH. *crying*

It went sort of like this. My mother and her husband, who for the sake of this post will be referred to as “The ‘Rents” despite my utter refusal to call the man anything close to a father, literally came over one day with a sheet of paper and announced that they were going to renovate my house. I just sort of stared and sheepishly said, well…it does need it but…

And then everything went bat-shit-crazy. They had laid out no timeline for this. So for the past month they have been here nearly every day. They tore out all the carpet, made my kids and I move things we were not qualified to move, destroyed my house and replaced everything with no input from me at all.

In the middle of the carpet debacle, with my entire house ON MY LAWN, I got into a fight with the male member of The ‘Rents. My son was exhausted. He needed a break. I told him to sit down. Not ten seconds later, he was up and doing shit again. I again told him to sit the fuck down. He informed me that The ‘Rents had told him to get off his butt and work. So I went and had it out with the male ‘Rent. 

I told my son to sit down. He needs a rest, he is tired.”

" We’re ALL tired! If we get to take breaks then why am I even here??? We’re not doing this for ourselves, we’re doing it for YOU. He needs to MAN UP and get back to work.”

" If you’re tired, TAKE A DAMN BREAK! I’m asking you to let him sit down for five minutes! He’s been moving furniture all day and it’s hot!!"

" Well if we can take breaks then I’m fucking out of here."

And he left.

With my entire house on my front lawn. With no carpet, just bare floor and tack everywhere. Guess who had to move it all back? And then there was the fight with the female ‘Rent who felt that my son was not masculine enough and needed a good male figure to set him right. I told her that it wasn’t her place or his to tell my son how to be a man and to fuck off. That ended well.

Then there was painting and destroying and more fights and fixing things that didn’t need fixing. It’s been a hellish invasion of my home and privacy and an overwhelming god awful micromanaging nightmare. It is finally over.

It was so not worth it.

4. I got denied for disability again. See also, spiralling depression. I am apparently qualified to work “some jobs in our nation’s economy.” I don’t know what they are though. They won’t tell me. I don’t know what to do now.

5. Painy pain pained paining and money. My pain levels have been at an all time high as well. The stress isn’t helping. The heat isn’t helping. I’ve barely been functional. And by the end of next month I will be broke again and I’m scared to try and kick the fundraiser into gear again because I feel worthless and people already gave so much. I hate to ask for more help. Bleh.

So…yeah. There’s that. So I didn’t die, I just…um..you know..did the thing where you run and hide and cry a lot and don’t talk to anyone ever for a long time. I think it’s called coping or some shit.

Reblogged from fdelopera

ninjagiry:

themelodiesofmidnight:

Erik’s puns didn’t go over well.

Did You Mean: The Official Phantom FB Page

"Healthcare costs are rising, so what’s the answer? Write an essay describing a proposal to deny the poor or elderly healthcare. After all, who is going to pay for their access?"

Reblogged from chronically-cute

Class assignment

SOME STUDENTS ANSWERS:

"The working class is the one that pays taxes from their paycheck and that goes towards healthcare costs in America so they should receive the healthcare." 

"The ones actually contributing to the healthcare should be the ones to get it."

"Our country would be out of debt if medical professions turned away those without insurance and those who can’t afford it."

"To get medical attention in this country I think there needs to be some guidelines. If the youth need medical help I think there needs to be proof of family income, proof that you are going to school, and they need to be U.S. citizens, parents included."

"Healthcare should not just be given away. If we started saying "It’s free, come get it! No cost to you," it would be just a matter of time until our nation falls apart."

"The elderly in hospice are just wasting medical professional’s time. Time that can use their expertise to actually save lives. Hospice is just an illusion so the elderly feel like their needs are being provided but it doesn’t hold any true value."

"Improving the quality of life of some patients doesn’t achieve a goal if the aren’t fit to work. Nor does it focus on those who should be kept alive. Like people who are in their prime and keeping society productive."

"Only citizens who can provide goods and services and those in their reproductive years should receive medical care."

"The goal of society is survival of the fittest. A patient’s emotional, spiritual, and physical needs should not be met. It’s far too time consuming, therefore cost consuming and doesn’t place enough focus on a striving society."

(via shitrichcollegekidssay)

This is so fucking disgusting and awful that it actually makes me want to cry. These kids actually believe this shit. No humanity, no compassion, just greediness and selfishness.

(via terfrodite)

Let me tell you what mistake you made here: YOU SHOULD HAVE ASKED LITTLE STUDENTS OF THE SECOND-GRADE VARIETY. They would have got it RIGHT. I fucking guarantee it.

Health care should be provided to everyone regardless of income. If you are sick/injured, doctors should treat you. End of story.

(via adinfinitumxx)

One day your life, like mine, might just change. And all the things you did and loved to do will be taken from you just like that. One bout of flu turns your disease into a walking nightmare and the person who could work and laugh and run is gone forever.

And it’s you.

And you have a damned hard enough time looking in the mirror and telling yourself your life is worth keeping despite having to live on morphine and spend most of your days bedridden.

And someone tells you that you’re worthless….that the same person living in that body that not a year ago could do all the things one considers productive is now worthless.

And it’s still you. 

Are you suddenly not worth the healthcare? Not worth keeping alive? I imagine your rules would change damn fast. 

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