BEST COMMENT IN THE RAINBOW OREO PICTURE ON...
gaymerlag: “some of you are going to sh*t yourselves when you open a bag of skittles.”
Interviewer: Tell me about your character in this film.
Tom Hiddleston: Let me begin with a quote from Shakespeare...
Benedict Cumberbatch: Do you want the long and thoughtful answer, or the long and thought provoking answer?
Andrew Garfield: The word "character" can be interpreted in many different ways.
Jennifer Lawrence: CAKE BALLS.
David Tennant: I'll quote a poem and be all Scottish and adorable.
Alex Kingston: That reminds me of a sexual innuendo- oops, I just made an innuendo, didn't I.
Arthur Darvill: I wrote a song about that on my vintage harmonica.
Matt Smith: Did you just say "Karen Gillan?" Because, you know, your question made me think of something that happened yesterday, when Kazza and I were platonically hanging out on the bed in her hotel room...
nakedcrip replied to your post: nakedcrip replied to your post: nakedcrip replied… Mr. Crip would fucking love it. Me? Dead. Deady dead McDeaderstein. It’s crazy delicious. We just got it here, she also has habanero and whatnot, which I will be trying. But I saw that and knew I had to try it. And I love it but right now I feel like satan peed fire in my mouth.
nakedcrip replied to your post: nakedcrip replied to your post: So I’ve got Bow… that would kill me dead I’m well on my way. I had about a third of it yesterday and I died. Twice.
nakedcrip replied to your post: So I’ve got Bow Down Mister on repeat and I’m… Sell your children, buy cats instead My cat just tried to eat my ghost pepper salsa. I’m not sure this is the right path. Also…GOTT IN HIMMEL, MY HEAD IS ON FIRE.
Reblog if you are someone who understands the need...
dcriss-stargleek: tardis-youre-drunk: thesherlockfandomisbroken: ivetrulyoutgayedmyself: I’m sorry, but new books smell amazing too. Just saying. Hell, let’s just sniff ALL THE BOOKS they’re basically like crack for nerds. Only better for you. I thought I was the only one who loves to smell books.
So I’ve got Bow Down Mister on repeat and I’m dancing around in my underpants with my face stuck in photoshop….working. I should just start collecting cats and get it over with.
neil-gaiman: mizzkatonic: What exactly is Obamacare and what does it change? abaldwin360: big thanks to reddit user CaspianX2 for typing all this out! What people call “Obamacare” is actually the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act. However, people were calling it “Obamacare” before everyone even hammered out what it would be. It’s a term mostly used by people who don’t like the...
wannabeartist-in-thetardis: I think I just found my new favorite gif
5 Great Joys in Life That Healthy People Never... →
The Greatest MadLib Line EVAR.
” I don’t even need your flesh but you blog me like a surgeon and that feels so smelly.” Blog me…like a surgeon….
And at some point you realize that there are more flavors of pain than coffee....– Jim Butcher, White Night (via reinedelaseine14)
BLESSED ARE THE SISSIES BLESSED ARE THE BOI DYKES BLESSED ARE THE PEOPLE OF...– Mark Aguhar, “Litanies to my heavenly brown body” amen (via blck-grrl)
Reblog this if you AREN'T homophobic.
theepichumor: laugh-addict: Just want to see how many of my followers actually reblog this. IT’S OKAY TO BE GAY I WON’T MIND IF YOU LIKE YOUR KIND IT’S OKAY TO BE GAY I’D STILL LOVE YOU AND OTHERS WILL TOO people are fine by me. everyone should reblog this for the gifs XD this is so….. .__.’ *reblogs* Follow this blog, you will love...
The so-called ‘psychotically depressed’ person who tries to kill herself doesn’t...– David Foster Wallace (via decembrist)
62 Things the Avengers are Not Allowed to Do.
1. Tony is not allowed to replace the entire contents of the cafeteria with pop-tarts just because Thor has declared it the ‘food of the gods.’
2. Natasha is not allowed to interrogate new S.H.I.E.L.D. employees and dispose of the ones she deems unworthy.
3. Clint is not allowed to continue insisting that is the final step of the interview process to terrified new hires.
4. Tony is not allowed to broadcast sing-along songs into the Hulk-cage, no matter amusing he finds teaching Hulk “Teddy Bear, Teddy Bear, turn around”
5. Clint is not allowed to put the security feed of the Hulk’s Teddy Bear dance on Youtube.
6. Bruce is not allowed to hack into personnel files to look up blackmail material on Director Fury.
7. Tony is not allowed to insist that he’s already done so and that Fury’s middle name is Rainbow Sprinkles…. Because it isn’t.
8. Thor is not allowed to be naked at Headquarters. Ever.
9. Steve is not allowed to address any female S.H.I.E.L.D. agents as ‘little lady,’ ‘broad,’ or ‘dame.’ It only ends in getting slapped.
10. Agent Coulson’s name isn’t “Mom.”
11. Director Fury should never again be addressed as “Dad”
12. Agent Hill is not the Avenger’s wicked stepmother.
13. Clint is not allowed to lurk in the shadowy rafters spying on people, unless specifically instructed to do so for an official S.H.I.E.L.D. sanctioned mission.
14. ‘Operation Irritate the Fuck Out of Nick Fury’ is not an official mission, no matter what Tony or Natasha say to the contrary.
15. Debriefings should not be preceded by tequila shots.
16. Debriefings should not be followed by tequila shots.
17. There are to be no shots of any kind during debriefings.
18. Thor and Hulk will wait to fight until after the battle is over.
19. Tony Stark is not God’s gift to women.
20. The Avengers do not need matching uniforms.
21. Tony and Bruce are not allowed to have a contest to see who can make a bigger “boom” in the lab.
22. Thor is not allowed to join in and make the biggest boom with his hammer.
23. The Avengers will not be celebrating Steve’s 94th birthday.
24. The laboratory is not Tony and Bruce’s ‘Super Secret Genius Clubhouse.’ They are not allowed to bar entry to employees based on IQ test results.
25. The Avengers are not making a promotional pin-up calendar. Or a sex tape.
26. Iron Man is not making a promotional pin-up calendar. Or a sex tape.
27. Tony Stark is not making a promotional pin-up calendar. Or a sex tape.
28. Thor is not allowed to ‘bring down the wrath of Odinson’ on the person who ate the last package of pop-tarts.
29. Pants are not optional at team meetings.
30. ‘Pepper said it was okay’ is not a good enough reason to defy a director order from command.
31. The words “What’s the worst that could happen?” are never to be uttered on a mission ever again.
32. MC Hammer did not write Thor a theme song.
33. Gumby is not the love child of Bruce Banner and Reed Richards.
34. Natasha and Clint are not allowed to impersonate members of the clergy ever again. Ever.
35. Blasting ‘Don’t Worry, Be Happy’ at top volume into Bruce’s room on loop overnight is not an effective way to suppress the Hulk.
36. Hawkeye is not sitting in the rafters waiting to pick off people playing Galaga on their computer during work hours.
37. Tony is not allowed to bribe Natasha and Clint to physically, emotionally or psychologically torture General Ross for being ‘a great big douchebucket’ and ‘being mean to Brucie-kins.’
38. Steve is ‘Captain America’ not ‘Captain New York and those 49 other, lesser states.’
39. ‘Hulk SMASH!’ is not an effective diplomatic policy.
40. Tony is not allowed to buy the Dodgers and move them back to Brooklyn to apologize for lighting Steve’s hair on fire.
41. The phrase ‘Trust me, I’m a doctor’ never leads anywhere good.
42. It is not funny to dare Bruce to drink three quarts of green food coloring before a urine test.
43. Steve is not to be introduced as ‘Captain Tightpants’ or ‘The All-American Virgin.’
44. The Avengers do not ‘charge into battle, naked like the Celts.’ Except for The Hulk. Sometimes.
45. Natasha’s glare is not in fact fatal. Tony is not allowed to continue implying that it is.
46. Tony is not allowed to convince Bruce to help him make death ray goggles so that it will be.
47. The Avengers are not allowed to overthrow the American government, just because they didn’t like the results from the last election.
48. The Avengers are not allowed to overthrow any government, without checking in with S.H.I.E.L.D. first.
49. Clint is not allowed to sell Thor any ‘magic beans.’
50. Natasha and Clint are not allowed to try to sell Tony to another planet, even if they are promised really cool new weapons in exchange.
51. Tony and Bruce are not allowed to go to any science conferences without a chaperone.
52. A robot Tony built does not count as a chaperone.
53. Nikola Tesla is not a vampire being held in the bowels of S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters.
54. Tony and Bruce are not allowed to go searching for him in the name of Science!
55. Clint’s super-power is not ‘being super-annoying.’
56. The following words and phrases are never to be uttered over communication devices during an active mission ever again: “Exploring sexuality,” “Necrophilia,” “It’s getting hot in herr, so take off all your clothes,” “I hate everyone on this mission and I wish they’d die in a fire,” “Nick Fury can go suck on a big bag of sausages,” references to Bruce’s giant stash of weed, mention of anyone’s erection, or “Shawarma.”
57. If it makes Tony giggle for more than 30 seconds, it isn’t allowed.
58. If it makes Natasha crack a smile, it’s probably illegal.
59. Thor taking Jane to see Asgard does not count as an alien abduction. Clint should stop referring to it as such.
60. Just because Bruce agreed to work in Tony’s lab, does not mean he needs to get a “Property of Stark Industries” tattoo.
61. Tony is not allowed to design a robot to draw said tattoo on Bruce when he falls asleep in the lab.
62. Post-mission reports to Director Fury should not start out ‘So let me explain…’
I want all of these in the next movie, Joss. Do you hear me?
House: Is this hell? An eternity of people trying to convince me to live?
My daughter about 30 times a day....
Me: Hey close the door
Parent: *leaves the door open 2 centimeters*
Me: *dying whale noise*